Is anyone else having a hard time believing its end of May already?! Where is 2021 going?
Time is flying by and summer was approaching really quickly. Summer is not my favorite time of year. If you’re a new reader here, first, thanks for stopping in, you’re amazing, but second, I struggle with having positive body image. Therefore during summer, I was still wearing jeans and hoodies. The more amount of clothing I could wear to cover up, the better.
I believed, until this year, that my body was something to be ashamed of . My stretch marks had me running for the hills at the thought of exposing them just to be more comfortable. But living through a pandemic has also taught me that, things don’t always go as planned, and that is okay. There is beauty in everything.
So when summer was approaching this year, I said, screw it. I’m so tired of hating my body and hating myself. I’m so tired of being uncomfortable all summer long. I can’t do it again this year. It’s got to be better than this.
And guess what, it is, and it can be. What I started doing was simply letting go of what I felt society deems normal, and allowed myself the grace and space to grow, learn, and love myself. And I honestly feel like I’ve been in constant bloom since that point.
So here’s 10 things I’m doing different this summer, and who knows, maybe it’ll inspire you to start living the way you want to, too.
I’m spending more time loving me, and my loved ones. I’m answering the phone calls, even if I don’t feel like it at the beginning, my mood always changes. (I do understand that this isn’t the case for everyone though, and that’s okay, don’t force it.) I’m speaking kinder to myself and therefore my entire demeanor has softened and is approaching situations and obstacles with more grace and calmness. My relationships have improved, and how I feel about myself has greatly changed. While I used to struggle with feeling unworthy, I now am confident that I am worthy and capable. Loving more has been a game changer.
I was not ever one to “play”. I felt like everyone was starring at me if I did. Thoughts would flood my head that my body was moving too much, they could see my scars, oh no, not the stretch marks. I missed so many opportunities to just play and laugh. I had to come to a point where I asked myself, am I not worthy of fun just because of my size? Is that the message I would want to pass to someone else? Of course not. But to pass along a message to someone else, I have to believe it, and live it. So, I started playing . Throwing football, chasing bubbles floating in the wind, and you better believe I’m going to be playing in the beach as soon as it warms up. We are all worthy of fun, pleasure and happiness. We need to change the conversations with ourselves and allow ourselves the fun.
I’ve been taking a lot of time lately to write and I’m really loving it. For a little while, writing was my job and I was squeezing it in, but now I’ve shifted and am in the mindset that it’s something that adds value to my life. It’s something that makes me very happy. Therefore, it needs to have a constant and stable place in my life. My writing goes everywhere I go, and I make time for it everywhere, because it makes me happy. And, I’m learning, and have learnt, that my happiness is important.
Wearing the clothes.
I’ve been wearing the clothes. The dresses, shorts, bathing suits. Guess what, they come in my size too! For years and years I’ve hid my body, and this year I’m embracing and loving it. My body (and yours) is worthy of love. It’s worthy of being comfortable. This has really impacted my moods and how I feel about myself.
Trying new things.
When I let go of what society said I should look like and do, I got to open the door of exploration. I’m learning, asking questions and trying. I love this. I recently just learned how to set my trailer up. I’m definitely not a pro, but I’m finding it so satisfying to add new knowledge to my repertoire.
Doing the thing.
Yes you read that right. This summer I’m doing the thing. What the heck does that mean? I’m doing whatever it is I want to do with no regards to how I’m going to look doing it. I’m just doing it.
Something about the great outdoors is so calming and soothing and this year I took full control of that and am camping seasonally. So yes, as I write this, I’m set up in my new trailer listening to the sound of the wind against it’s walls. Being so close to the earth, and to the trees leaves me feeling connected and like I have a purpose. This year I made it a priority and will be camping for the summer. Camping is my happy place, and this year we decided that we could make it happen all the time. So get ready for loads of camping content!
Listening to my body.
There was a time when I would eat the whole bag of chips just because they were out. I would sit and be cold just because I was too nervous to get up and walk in front of others. This year I’m honoring and respecting my body and my worth. I’m eating better and I’m respecting my feelings.
Using CBD and weed more.
I guess for some, this wouldn’t be good, but for me it is. I’ve managed to get off all antipsychotics and with focus, and intention, I can safely manage myself with CBD and THC. This is a huge positive for me. I’m no longer drowsy from sleeping pills or struggle to find focus and clarity.
Practicing and embracing acceptance.
If I can allow space and grace for others during their life, and it’s obstacles then I can do it for me. I’ve stopped asking myself, why do I have bipolar disorder, why can’t I talk to people, why me. And rather shifted the thinking to, what can I do to take back control of this situation and bring peace and calmness to my mind. HUGE CHANGE. I’m allowed to not hate my bipolar disorder. I’m allowed to love me even though I have a disability. And guess what, you are too.
There you have it friends, 10 things I’m doing entirely different this year, and man the benefits are HUGE.
How are you coping through this year? Is covid exhaustion affecting you? How are you feeling?
Love always, enn
10 Things I’m Doing Different This Summer