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Hi, welcome! Thank you for coming by my blog. My name is Natasha, and I am the creator of ThoughtswithN. It’s my passion project. Today I’m going to be sharing more about my journey to finding some inner peace. I’ve been living a tormented life for quite some time, and in recalling memories and answering tough questions, I’ve come to a place of peace. A place where I can feel feelings without losing them now because I am okay. Not that I am cured, but rather, I trust myself.

If you’re new here then I’ve linked below a few of my most popular blog posts – feel free to visit! Thanks you’re awesome.

I trust myself to take care of myself. I trust myself to make decisions that are good for me and that I can set and maintain boundaries, even when it’s really tough. And believe me, in setting personal boundaries, my life has been shifted nearly upside down. I’ve lost nearly everyone. All that is left are my husband and children. Because in learning about personal boundaries, healthy relationships, and narcissists, I realized that I was raised by one. And that I had a lot of trauma that I didn’t even understand.

Finding Inner Peace

When I talk about inner peace, I’m talking about how you feel inside. I’ve carried vicious anxiety for years; things are only starting to make sense and come to peace. It started with acknowledging the things I experienced. I had to take a long hard look at who I was and what I believed in. I’ve lived as I thought I should for much of my life. Leaning into societal obligations and expectations robbed me of whom I really was. If you want to read more about what inner peace is and how to find it check out here.

1. Acknowledge it. (Important step for inner peace.)

The first step to finding inner peace and maintaining it throughout the holiday season is acknowledging the trauma. When I say trauma, I mean the event that is hurting you or weighing you down. Through safe conversations, I could start identifying things that happened to me that I didn’t even realize weren’t okay. I began to have feelings about things I didn’t even know happened to me. I began to unwrap layers of myself, and what was inside needed a lot of TLC. I had to acknowledge what I went through and how I felt about it before finding inner peace.

Don’t get me wrong; this wasn’t a walk in the park. It happened over a matter of time.

How to acknowledge it?

You guys know I wouldn’t leave you hanging here. It’s easy for me just to say something, but how do you actually do that, right? When I realized I was talking about something that I had feelings about, I was like, ” Oh, I feel like I have some feelings about this.” Then I sat with it. Just exploring the thought, either in my mind or out loud with my husband. Sometimes emotions would wash over me, and I was sobbing, in a rage, or just sad, and I had to learn that these emotions are okay.

It’s okay; I have feelings. It’s okay that you do too. I needed to release the feelings and let them flow rather than keep them in and live in a fantasy land where everything was perfect. It wasn’t. And that’s okay. But it’s also okay to acknowledge it and have feelings about it too.

Are you wondering how this is self-care? You popped in here wanting to find some self-care goals, right? But, my friend, acknowledging what we went through and allowing ourselves permission to feel the feels IS self-care. Exploring your feelings, expressing your emotions, and learning about yourself is self-care. No, it’s not a fancy bubble bath with soy candles flickering in the background (though that DOES sound good). It’s a commitment to yourself and finally working through all the things. Or, at least, this is how I view it. But again, I wouldn’t object to the fancy bath!

You can begin healing once you know what you’re healing from. So acknowledging it is essential.

2. Listen to music.

I love listening to music, and it’s been a big part of uncovering my emotions. Sometimes a good song says the things; you know what I mean? I think everyone should listen to music every day. Listen to things that feel good for you, but I do encourage you to explore different genres and artists. There are some incredible musicians out there. Also, don’t be afraid to dance a little. There’s no better pick me up than a quick afternoon dance party.

What do I listen to?

Oh gosh, thank you for asking, friends. I have some songs that are my go-to’s whenever I feel a certain thing.

My Sad Songs

My Angry Songs

My Feel-Good Songs

3. Self-care

Before I go further, I want to clarify what I mean when I say self-care. Self-care is often used to describe spa days and luxury baths where the bubbles overflow the bathtub in the most aesthetic way. Picture sparkling wine, dim lights, candles, rose petals, and maybe even a good book. This is how we’ve been taught to do self-care. But what about those of us who don’t have those things? And, yes, it’s nice to have bubble baths, but self-care refers to the well-being of the whole self.

There are four areas of self-care. Physical, psychological, spiritual, and emotional. I’m sure these are fairly self-explanatory, but just so we’re all on the same page, I’ve included a little explanation below of each.

  • Physical self-care – includes caring for your entire body, your nutrition, sleep habits, and movement.
  • Psychological self-care – includes how you think, your inner narrative, how you fuel your mind, self-compassion, and self-acceptance.
  • Spiritual self-care – includes how you nurture your spirit and connect to deeper meaning.
  • Emotional self-care – includes developing healthy coping skills and self-regulation.

It’s imperative that we take care of our entire person. In all areas. So what has self-care looked like for me lately as I search for inner peace this holiday season?

  • going for walks
  • listening to music
  • reading personal development books
  • practicing setting and maintaining my boundaries
  • attending scheduled doctors’ appointments
  • taking my meds daily
  • meditation
  • laughing more often
  • practicing gratitude
  • using affirmations

I honestly think practicing gratitude is everything. It’s life changing.

4. Daily movement

Daily movement has been an integral role in my mental health plan. The problem is when I fall into a depressive episode, and it’s nearly impossible to find the motivation to do it. Even though I know, it’s good for me. To counteract this, I’ve made daily movement a part of my daily routine. This way, it feels like something I sort of “have” to do daily.

Examples of Daily Movement I Enjoy:

5. Daily affirmations

Affirmations can be either words or a phrase that means something to you and you speak them into existence. I find they give me confidence. Examples of daily affirmations I use are –

  • I am okay. I can get through this.
  • I am in control. I am strong.

If you’re interested in learning more about affirmations, check out this blog post here.

A few of my favorite journals are: (you’ll need one for the next tip!)

6. Journaling

I began journaling again about a month ago and I find it very helpful with my mental health and even overall well-being. I feel a lot calmer and more focused. A journal is a safe space for you to allow your emotions to exist, and I’ve found it very beneficial.

7. Being in nature.

I found a sense of inner peace right in nature these last few months. The beautiful, great outdoors. My toes tickle from the lawn when I walk through the grass, and I feel connected to something. I feel a sense that there is something bigger than me, and I have a purpose. Sitting and listening to the birds sing, I feel immense gratitude for witnessing something so beautiful.

When the snow dances from the clouds, I watch as it blankets the streets and creates a blank canvas, awaiting children to come and play. Even when the rain washes away the hope for a sunny day, I sit with the grey and find hope and solitude in it. I love being in nature, regardless of the elements. It makes me feel grounded. It feels calming to walk under the shade of massive trees. Trees have shown such true resilience. I feel good being in nature. I feel calm.

These are the 7 changes and tips I’ve been using and following to become a more peaceful person. How are the holidays for you? What do you do to help?

Love Always, natasha

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