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Health&Wellness,  Life with N

Lessons I wish I would have learned before Adult-hood

Adult-hood is rough, isn`t it? I find it is often overflowing with obstacles and potholes.

And, really, when we leave high school, how prepared are we? When I look back I can see all the red flags, but at that time, I felt I was prepared. I felt I knew what I was doing.

It`s such a let down isn`t it?

From the vision of what adulthood is when we are children, to what it actually is? There have been many potholes in my journey that I feel I could have been prepared for.

Of course, life happens, and much of it is a lesson in itself. But, there are some things I definitely could have known beforehand.

That cellphone bill you didn`t pay when you were 18, they don`t forget it!

I have no idea why, but I thought that if I just didn`t pay it, nothing would happen. I didn`t understand contracts. Something ,that I think should be taught in high school for sure.

The bank isn`t being nice giving you a Visa. They are making money off of you with interest!

I remember when I got my first Visa, literally 1 week after my 18th birthday, (MISTAKE), and I just thought this was like a loan. It would put the money upfront for me, and I just pay it back. Which is how it is, if you can pay off the entire balance by the due date.

In my case, I couldn`t. Enter: INTEREST.

I wish I would have understood banking, budgeting, interest, investments and all those financial things a little more before I entered adulthood. Only now, do I feel like I understand a good amount, but now I am left to clean up my mess I created!

Always have a spare $20 bill.

Keep this somewhere in your wallet, and it`s an emergency type fund. There have been many times where I could have used this. Cabs, gas (who wants to unbuckle 3 kids to go pay for gas?), Tylenol, emergency prescriptions, etc.

You never want to be in a situation where you can`t leave a situation, or you are relying on someone else maybe that is unreliable. Keep $20 on you. You will thank me.

Shop second-hand!

I don`t know why, but when I was in high school this was so looked down upon. It was as if you were dirty if you did this.

I am a mother to 3, and I can tell you, I WISH I would have thrift shopped more when I was younger. It would have saved me A LOT of money! I enjoy thrift shopping so much now!

Stop trying to be what everyone thinks you should be, and just be you.

The real friends, those real people that will stay in your life, they are going to love you no matter what. I spent so much of my time being so focused on being likeable, that I started hating myself.

Get to know yourself, and uncover the real you. You have to spend your whole life with you, so get comfy with yourself.

Start NOW!

Whatever your dreams are, just start. I waited until a year ago to take my blog seriously and I wish I could go back and smack myself in high school. I should have started then! If you already know your dream, make a plan, and take steps towards crushing it!

Love in high school, is not the same as love in adult life.

Love looks different for everyone, and even at different points in our lives. I thought I was in love in high school only to fall flat on my face in adulthood and learn that wasn`t love at all. High school romance and intimacy is very different than in the real world, and that is okay. Enjoy the love in high school, just be ready for the change in the adult world.

Be comfortable.

You don`t need to wear anything that makes you uncomfortable, nor do you need to strive to be a certain size. I spent so much of my early adult years focused on weight and size, and I wish I would have had a more positive experience in high school, and not struggled with body image issues.

Whatever is in style, or not in style, wear what feels good to you. A happy person is the most beautiful of all.

No one is above you.

This has been a big lesson for me. In my high school it felt as if there were ranks, and I was definitely always at the bottom. I entered adulthood feeling like I owed something to people. I had low self-worth and very low self-esteem.

I spent so much of my time, essentially behind a mask, and wearing a costume, just trying to do what I thought was expected. It took me a very long time to see that regardless of income, status, or anything else, I am not below anyone.

I wish that in high school more was done to combat the pressures put on teens to look a certain way, to act a certain way, etc.

I was not prepared to enter into the world in a healthy state of mind. I didn`t feel like I was worth anyone`s time or energy, and ended up being in situations that I wish I wouldn`t have been.

There are of course positives to adulthood, and you have the freedom to fully express and be yourself. Spend time with yourself, and get to know who you are, so that when this time comes, you aren`t running away scared like I did.

I wasn`t prepared for what it took to make it in life, and the amount of tears that I was going to cry.

I can honestly say I have never used calculus in my life, but would have benefited from knowing how to combat the negative self-talk, or live my life with anxiety.

I was under the impression that being 18 made me prepared to be an adult.

But in reality, 18 is just a number. Being an adult is a state of mind and understanding. I wasn`t ready to go out on my own when I did, and I can see that now, but now I can try to make sure my kids are ready when they leave.

Are there lessons you wish you would have known before entering adulthood?

Love Always, N

Don`t forget to stop by over here and follow along!!

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12 Comments

  • Rebekah

    18 definitely is just a number. I think that they really should talk more about personal finance and other aspects of adulthood in schools. I think I was more prepared for living on my own than most because I really listened to my parents complaining (even though they thought I never even heard them). But the more social and emotional aspects of adulthood were definitely lost on me for a long time.

  • Sarah

    Yes, I agree with a lot of these. We go into adulthood so underprepared and so many of the things we learn once we are adults we do so because of the mistakes we make. And those mistakes are only made because we didn’t know about these things ahead of time. I was lucky to have avoided credit cards when I first because an adult, but a lot of people I know were lured in by them and then suddenly found themselves in debt because they forgot they had the pay the bills in the long run. My husband actually taught me about always carrying some cash with me. It’s been a lifesaver, it’s amazing how many times I went to get something at the store and the debit machines were down, but I was still able to make a purchase because of that $20 in my wallet.

  • Dominique Walton Brooks

    These are great points. I think I came out of high school in pretty good shape– I knew what I wandered to do and how I had to get there. Now I have changed my mind a few times since then! And besides, I think I still need to learn about the spare $20 now! LOL

  • Alisa Russell

    All good tips. I made sure these were in my sons’ curriculum during our homeschool years since I wasn’t too sure of them myself at their age. Good for you for realizing this as young as you have. Great post!

  • Lori @ CircleSquareOval

    This is all so very true, probably will hit home for most people. I’m in my 50s, and I felt the pain of my teens come back with every word you read! It would be wonderful if classes were taught in high school on finance, self-esteem, and general responsibility. Unfortunately, we are all left to learn the hard way. Hopefully someone in their teens will read and benefit from your heartfelt post.

  • Daniele

    I absolutely love this! It is so true! Budgeting and finance are definitely things I wish I had understood. Also keeping a $20 in your wallet is great advice. This should be shared with all young women. Thanks for sharing.

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