Life lessons are an incredibly important part of life. Life itself, seems as if it is one giant lesson, filled with little plot twists along the way.
They test you, build you, and often break you. These lessons sometimes are there because you did something, and sometimes because of something/someone else, or an event. Sometimes, these life lessons hurt, and sometimes they make you smile.
My life I feel has been full of hard lessons, but all of which have had some positive outcomes. Except one.
A family member, a close one, taught me the hardest life lesson I’ve ever known. They taught me that people can just walk away from your life, and never look back. I learned this at age 10. This family member was 15. They left then, and came back, and left and came back and left and came back. Sometimes years would be in between the leaving and coming back.
I would cry and cry. I wanted to see them, I wanted to know they were okay. Why didn’t they care about me?
It took me until 25 years old to see, it wasn’t about me. The life lesson lesson was/is, people are not going to be what I think they should be, or do what I think they should do. The term “brother” or “sister” to me, has a hard definition that goes along with it. People who will be there for you no matter what.
This lesson changed it all for me. Family titles, are just that, titles. They no longer carry definitions along with them for me. I no longer have expectations of anyone, except myself.
The family you make, IS. Sometimes that IS your family, and sometimes it isn’t.
Just because I had preconceived notions of what this person was “supposed” to be in my life, and the role I so dearly wished they played, it didn’t make it right for that person. Those were my wishes and desires. I learned to depend on myself through this, and to not have expectations, because then you can’t be let down. This life lesson, though so hard to learn, changed me for the better.
The hurt I carried with me, robbed me of 15 years of my life. Countless rivers of tears I have cried, and so much unkindess I have said to myself as reasons why this person wanted nothing to do with me.
When, in reality, it was just not about me. It was about them.
This person, is still not in my life. But, the difference now, is that’s okay. I hope they are okay and well, and living a full and happy life.
What is your hardest life lesson you have learned?