Advertisements
Mother carrying her baby
Health&Wellness,  Life with N,  This Parenting Thing

Mama Life This Week

Deep down in my heart, I know that I love my children. I do know that. But lately, I have been wondering, what about me. I suppose because I had my children so early and young in life, it has limited a lot of what I`ve done in my twenties. One of my children is so incredibly difficult and brings me to tears every single day, out of sheer frustration that I don`t know what to do anymore.

Sometimes I just look around me and feel like I`ve simply accomplished nothing. I`ve made it this far, 11 days before age 30, and I have yet to do anything with my life. My husband is always quick to remind me that we have three children, and I`ve accomplished so much.

But, I feel so much pressure surrounding that I have yet to buy my first house. I still haven`t figured out even what to do with the rest of my life, though I`m fairly sure I`m doing it.

Lately though, life has been hitting me hard. It`s been so cold outside, and my husband was crushed under a huge amount of weight and has been home recovering. It feels like I can`t keep up with the laundry. ( Please, mama`s, give me tips!!) And the housework is literally neverending!! WHY?! Whenever I finish one thing, five more things need doing.

It feels as if my children are always at war with each other, which is annoying and sad.

Along with it is SO COLD outside. Getting a two year old dressed to go outside when it`s minus 35 celsius is not fun. It feels like everywhere I turn in my house is mess, and everything I hear is whining, and complaining.

I`ve been feeling so unbearably frustrated and now I`m at the point of sad. I`m trying to recognise my emotions and understand them, so I can better deal with them.

This week I have been wondering, maybe was I not meant to be a mother? Is that possible? How terrible of a person am I for wondering that? It`s okay, you can be honest with me. I love my children, but maybe some days I wish I could just get in an airplane and take off to Italy. Or, go back to University and get a degree.

I understand that anything is possible and if you want it bad enough you can do anything. I`ve been told that many times.

But, if it comes between my kids receiving a birthday gift, and me taking a trip, obviously I`m buying my kids a gift.

Being a mama is tough..I`m sending love to all my mama friends.

Love Always, N

Advertisements

37 Comments

  • Alisa Russell

    I read this last week and wanted to make sure I came back to comment. You are doing a great job! I had my two children in my thirties and felt a lot of the same things you do especially once I was home full-time and once we decided to homeschool them. I had a lot on my plate. But, I’m on the other side of it now. In my 50’s with young adults who are trying to fly the nest. (Pray the older one finds a job he can support himself with, please. 🙂 ) But, in all seriousness, do not measure yourself against other people. You are a good writer! I may not comment every time, but I do read all of your posts. You’ve gotten started sooner with the writing than I did. (about ten years ago) Looking forward to seeing a lot more from you! Have a great day!

  • Hannah

    February is when seasonal depression always hits me the hardest. I have 2 kiddos and my youngest is not only always sick but he is always a terror he gets into things u couldn’t even imagine. I just gotta keep reminding myself that with the warm weather comes less frustration.

  • Kimberlie

    I’m so sorry that you’ve been going through a difficult time. It is clear that you’re a great mom because you are so concerned about your children’s behavior and their treatment of each other. I think we all feel like we’re failing as mothers. For me it’s been especially hard starting a blog with a full time job and having to rely more on my husband at times to help out with my son. He’s so used to having mommy that he sometimes screams for me and I feel terrible, but I know in my heart I’m doing what’s best to make our family more secure and it’s good for him to spend quality time with his dad too.

  • Jody

    I think we all have these feelings at times. We all want more or different. I get this way sometimes. I just want to do more for me. I want to travel so badly. Remember, the kids will grow and as they do just keep growing yourself. If you have a dream, make those small steps towards achieving them!

  • Sophie Naylor

    I’m not a mum yet but I can understand how frustrating it must be to see your children constantly fighting! Me and my brother hated each other as children and now we’re so close, so it may change! x

  • That Travel Blogger

    Hey! You’re doing an amazing job! Parenting is not easy, but you’ve got this! Is there anyone around you who can help?
    Also, prioritise things. I.e, does the dusting/window cleaning/whatever really need doing? Re. laundry, I cheat. I get it out of the washing machine and hang up straight away to dry. It cuts out the need to iron!! Can the kids help at all? My LO loves waving a duster around! Take care of yourself!

  • Claire

    Sending you so much love. Being a Mum is incredibly hard, and life can be very difficult when the overwhelm sets in.

    My advice would be ask for some help. Delegate jobs to your partner, create to do lists and tell the children how their fighting and squabbling effects you.

    I have recently had to tell my son that I am struggling and that I need him to help me a little bit, I have also had to tell my partner that I need him to do his share, but in order for that to happen, i had to let go of control. He is always wanting to help but I am stubborn and can’t quite let go of control.

    Take some time Mumma, you need it x

    Claire
    http://www.ourfavouritejar.com

  • Kate Duff

    Don’t be too hard on yourself parenthood is overwhelming at times. I always found pushing the kids to my priority and making them happy meant I automatically became happier and it cut me some space. It is the opposite of the self care advice but it’s a tip my Mum gave me – it just works. Make the kids happy, pour your love into them and then watch it flow back and give you a little more space. Once they are happily engrossed in something after you have given them some time – make a cup of tea and enjoy a bit of time to yourself. I realise this is the last thing you feel like doing when you feel smothered already – but it does work.

  • carol hannah

    Don’t give up Natasha — being a mum is difficult and mum’s need to be supported. And listen: thinking about a holiday, away from it all – that’s ok. You can’t go to jail for your thoughts. Us mums have been there too, so try not to worry too much. You’re being the best mum you can be – and that’s all we can do.

  • Daisy

    Mothers always have my respect for how strong and patient they are, even when their kids are little demons! xD I know my mum had to put up with me a fair few times! You do such an incredible job, hun! You’ve done way more than me…I only have furry kids! Haha!

  • Charity

    I do not have any children myself, but you definitely shouldn’t compare your successes to other people. I often feel judged and less than sometimes for not having children yet. Everybody does things at different times in their lives, and I say raising three babies is a heck of an accomplishment and should be celebrated! Don’t beat yourself up and keep doing you!!
    -Charity http://www.morningsonmacedonia.com

  • Hannah

    Oh honey 🙁 I’m so sorry you’re having a rough time at the moment. But please believe me when I say that your feelings are perfectly normal.
    You’ve literally described pretty much every day of my parenting journey. It’s relentless. Don’t even worry about the laundry – mine is never up to date, but as long as the kids have clean clothes to wear, that’s all that matters.
    Every storm eventually runs out of rain, and you will be fine. I wish I could send you a huge hug and let you know it will be ok. You will be ok. You are enough.

  • S.S. Mitchell

    Sending love to you, being a mama is certainly not an easy job and it is natural to feel overwhelmed. Please don’t internalise you and I can promise you I struggle with the laundry and never ending dishes too! You are mothering three human beings- that accomplishment on its own is amazing!

  • Zoey @ Anthropological Artistry

    I’m not a mom myself so I can’t relate but please don’t get too caught up on the accomplishments of others like how others have bought a house or figured out their lives. You’ve made your own great accomplishments and I’m sure other people don’t have it as figured out as they may seem. And everything comes in its own time, no two people’s lives are the same. Wishing you the best ❤

  • Mponeng Truddie Mokoena

    I am on baby number one she is 20 months and she is a little monster I fear how it will be to have more (which we are working on) I am constantly trying to catch my breath because she can drive me up the wall. We have good days though! Hang in there Mommy your doing great and remember without you nothing will go anywhere

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.