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This Parenting Thing

My Second Birth – A Story Of Love

This is the second part in my 3-part series sharing my birth stories. If you haven’t read the first one yet, you can find it at Normalize All Motherhood Journeys. I’m sharing my stories to highlight what many women face at their most vulnerable times in their lives.

My husband and I knew we wanted a baby together.

(He wasn’t my husband at this time.) We were raising my 17 month old together, and we were so in love with each other. When we decided that we would start trying to conceive, it was very frustrating each month that I wasn’t pregnant. I found that every month I would grow so excited to potentially be finding out I was pregnant, and then so devastated to learn I wasn’t. I felt like something was wrong with my body. It didn’t make any sense to me, because I had already had one baby. (I now understand that fertility can change between births, and that just because I conceived easily once, did not mean it would be easy again. This is going back several years though.)

After months of not conceiving, we took a break from trying and quickly fell pregnant the very next time. We were so happy, and I simply couldn’t believe it. I took 15 store pregnancy tests! We were so in love with our baby from the very beginning. I was so happy. My belly grew slowly and I loved dressing it. The pregnancy was calm and perfect.

I stayed very active throughout, and was walking miles right up until the day I gave birth. I was strong and very healthy. We found out the sex of the baby at 17 weeks at a 3D ultrasound, and then went again at 36 weeks for more photos of her. Our house quickly filled with pink and purple things as we prepared for the birth of our daughter.

I always smile when I think of her, because everything about her, her birth, and everything, has always been so perfect and beautiful. She came into the world after 3 hours of intense back labor. I had waited too long to receive an epidural, so she came naturally. This was actually what I had planned, but when the labor presented as back labor I very quickly changed my mind. But, it turned out to be natural anyway. She was born and immediately placed on my chest and I remember looking at my husband and saying “I did it.”

I did attempt breastfeeding, but the realities of being a mom to a 2 year old and a newborn exhausted me very quickly. That was something I was not prepared for at all. I was so tired. I struggled so much with post-partum depression, and even bonding with the baby. I felt like a failure that I couldn’t breastfeed. This was the hardest part. (You can read more about my experience with Post-Partum Depression.)

I was so thankful for the support I received from my husband. The entire pregnancy, birth, and new mom experience felt so different than my first. I was supported and loved throughout every step of the journey, and that made me feel very safe.

Stay tuned to find out the adventure of my third!

Love Always, Enn

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