Lately I’ve been struggling with the comparison game. You know, the one where you compare yourself to every other person. Every other creator. Every other writer. And I always end up down. My mental health always plummets and I struggle. The comparison game never leaves me feeling happier, or more fulfilled. So, why play it?
I think it’s just human nature to compare yourself to others.
It’s something that just comes natural. But, I think we need to ensure we are comparing ourselves to someone whose definition of success is the same, or at least similar to ours. For example, I shouldn’t be comparing my athletic ability to someone like Maria Sharapova. She is an athlete by career. Her intentions, her focus, everything about her being is entirely different than mine. She likely has a trainer, a nutritionist, make up and hair crew, and the works. Her entire career is being an athlete. I simply can’t compare to this. You likely can’t either. So, when you see Maria Sharapova entering the tennis court, then you shouldn’t be comparing yourself to her. Be it about beauty, physique, ability, or athleticism.Your definition of success, and what you’re really driving towards, is so entirely different than hers.
I wish we would have been taught in school about how to create our own definition of success, and how to create concrete steps towards achieving it.
It looks different for everybody. I really want you to remember that. For some, success may mean, purchasing a house and starting a family. For others it may mean moving out of home, and living off of Kraft Dinner and microwave meals, but you have your independence. It is so different for everybody.
So when we play the comparison game, we are playing against people who have different definitions of success than we do. And then it’s just a losing battle. It would be like going to play soccer against Cristiano Ronaldo. You haven’t had the same learning opportunities as he has, nor has your focus and desire been to be such an extraordinary soccer player. So, how could you compare? How could you expect yourself to even be a competition to him? You can’t fairly compare things that are so entirely different. And, when we do, we damage ourselves.
We think more harshly of ourselves, and we question why.
Why we aren’t as “successful”. Why we aren’t as good as them. And it isn’t just with celebrities, it’s with everyone. You may see a blogger that maybe has a larger platform, or perhaps a higher DA score. But, you can’t compare. Maybe that blogger has been in it for 10 years. Maybe the definition of success for that blogger is to create a full time income from their blog, and so that’s been the driving force behind them. And even IF that is what you are going for as well, you can’t compare yourself to someone who has been doing it for 10 years, and constantly learning and bettering themselves if you haven’t been too.
I think it’s important to start honoring ourselves and where we are in our own individual journey, not where someone else is in theirs. Identify what you feel success looks like for you. Some things you can think about when you’re thinking about success are, goals, people and relationships, along with what you’re motivated towards and what your heart is telling you.
If you MUST compare, because it really is so difficult not to, compare yourself to who you were yesterday and who you are today.
Create a plan for your success to happen in the future. Create your own version of what success is.
“Success (the opposite of failure) is the status of having achieved and accomplished an aim or objective. Being successful means the achievement of desired visions and planned goals. Furthermore, success can be a certain social status that describes a prosperous person that could also have gained fame for its favorable outcome. The dictionary describes success as the following: “attaining wealth, prosperity and/or fame”.“
The word success means something different to each and every person and I think it’s important to find what it means to you and honor that. It may mean to go to college and get a degree, or maybe it means to pay off all your debts. Whatever it means to you, don’t compare yourself to someone else, because their version of success is different than yours.
When I first began blogging I struggled with comparison so much.
Huge twitter accounts, huge instagram accounts, I was left with wondering, “why not me?” “Why can’t I do it too?” And it took me a little while, but I started seeing it as my own journey. Not simply a journey that we’re all taking. But an individual journey that I am on, on my own. I started focusing on my personal growth. By recreating what “success” meant, I was then able to go after it. I definitely celebrate all the other bloggers, but I am able to now recognize that we are all on an entirely different journey, even if they kind of look similar.
Some questions you can ask yourself when thinking about what success means to you are,
What are my goals?
Can I identify what is important to me?
How do I find joy?
What do I love to do?
How do I want my life to look like in 1 year? In 5 years?
What are my core values, and how do they play a part in my life?
Create your own vision of success, and by doing that you’ll be able to create, and cultivate a plan to achieve it.
Remember, success may look like financial freedom to some, and to others it may be simply being happy, and again, to others, it could mean all of these things and more. Look at things in your life like, relationships, jobs, how you spend your free time, your financial situation, your health, and create a definition that drives you towards success for you.
The most important thing is living a life that is genuine, valuable, honest and honors you and what you want. That is how you define success. When you think about it this way, have you achieved success? I challenged myself to really think about this. If I really think about what success means to me, have I achieved it?
The answer is yes.
Because to me, success is about never giving up, and continuosly moving forward. I have goals, and while I have smashed some, many I’m not even near at this point, and I think the success is waking up every day and still working towards it. For me, success isn’t a specific point in my life, or a specific event happening, and it’s more about the constant journey to getting to where I want to be. That is what resonates with me most. That success is a journey, and as long as I’m taking steps forward every day, then I am being successful. Looking at success this way helps me to stay motivated, inspired and creative. Every single day that I wake up, and live life, I am living a life of success and getting closer and closer to being successful.
If you really think about it, success is quite powerful. Being the driver of your life, you get to decide what it means You get to decide what being successful looks like for you. You also, get to redefine success at any, and every point in your life. You are in total control of it. So take that power, and define what success means in your life. Define how to achieve it, and what it looks like. Write it down, or maybe make a vision board, or maybe you’re an artist and you can draw? Somehow record it in a way that you feel inspired and creative. Display it so you can always remember it. This will help you stay connected to what your success is, and help you never lose sight of where you want to be.
Have you given thought to what success means to you? Based on that thought, would you say you’re successful?
Love Always, Enn
P.S. Don’t forget to stop in at some of my other posts! They need some love.