As we are heading into August and approaching the end of summer and the beginning of my most favourite season I find that I am spending some time reflecting on how much I have changed over this particular season.

See, I think, we are always changing. I think we are always learning. But, I feel like this summer I have changed and learnt far more than what I usually do.

I feel like this summer I grew.

Or maybe, it was that I figured out what I wanted and wasn`t too afraid to go after it.

Summer is such a beautiful season in my town. The gorgeous flowers, the beautiful green grass, and the brilliant blue sky is a sight I could take in forever.

The way the sun touches down on the waters, and the way the waters reflects the depths of my soul, and the way that the flowers bloom, even after a bitter cold winter just amazes me.

I love the way the heat feels on my skin in the summer, and that beautiful glow that happens when I`ve been outdoors.

I used to hate summer. With a passion actually.

For me, summer meant less clothes. Which meant, shorts, dresses and bathing suits.

All of these things were my worst nightmare. Before this year, summer was in no way poetic, nor beautiful. It was like life was trying to strip me naked and expose all my vulnerabilities.

I remember every single summer how I`d feel. Even as a child. I would cry repeatedly in the very short season. I was never ever comfortable with my body. Never comfortable with my flaws. Never able to embrace what my body looks like.

This summer something happened for me. I`m not really sure what it was. Whether it`s age, or wisdom, or maturity, or what.

This summer, I wore shorts. Regularly. I even bought AND wore a bathing suit. I walked with my head held just a little higher, and for the first time in my life, actually started to feel comfortable in my skin, and my body.

This summer, instead of staring at my reflections and tearing myself apart, I actually loved what I saw. (For the most part.) I noticed my curves and even my scars and I didn`t cringe anymore.

Seeing myself staring back up when I looked in the water, I no longer wanted to cry. I no longer felt broken.

I think I began to understand that the body in which I live in does not define me whatsoever. My identity is not my body nor my size. It is just a place in which my soul, spirit and mind reside. And while I need to care for it, and make sure it is healthy, I am so much more than what it looks like.

This summer I began to understand what my scars mean, and how they are actually important in my story.

This summer I saw my stretch marks on my tummy, and I didn`t feel so disgusted. I felt proud to have carried my 3 children. I felt blessed to have had that opportunity. Stretch marks feels like a small sacrifice to make to have the honour of being a mother.

This summer it feels like I became me. It`s like I have a better understanding of myself, and I am comfortable with who I am. This summer I learned that I do not need to justify my mental health, nor do I need to explain myself to any single person. Also, I have learned that my time, my health and my mind are worth so much more than anything else, and that I never owe an apology for caring for them.

This summer I have become comfortable with talking about my mental illness. Although it (my illness) hurts me in so many ways, I no longer am afraid of it. I have spent time learning about it, and how I can cope through it, so I don`t need to live in fear.

This summer I became at peace with my entire being, mind, body, spirit, and soul.

I`m leaving this summer a different person, and welcoming the next season with open arms. I am ready to embrace the person I am and learn more about her.

Did you notice any personal changes over the season?

Love Always, N

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24 thoughts on “Summer Dance

  1. This was such a good post! I honestly feel the same in alot of ways. Until I read this I felt my summer passed me by, but now I started reflecting on how much I grew aswell. So many changes in my life and I’m so pleased to look back and reflect while being excited for what’s ahead…FALL!!

  2. That is so great that you were able to accept your body now! I used to be insecure too, but i realized i’ll only live a miserable life if i continue to feel like that. First step was accepting, then next was doing something about it. It’s totally life changing. And wow, 3 children.. you should be proud of those ‘battlescars’ aka stretchmarks! 🙂

    – Hazel

  3. This was such a beautiful post to read!
    The fact that you took time to reflect and appreciate yourself/ embrace certain features was really inspiring.
    Lovely post x

  4. Sounds like you had an amazing summer. I didn’t grow as much as I would have liked, but I learned a lot about myself and my needs.

  5. I love this! I know exactly what you mean. This was a season of growing for me as well. I have always been pretty independent but this summer forced me to face the fact that I can be myself and appreciate that! Thank you for sharing!!

  6. This was a beautiful read and I love how you said your body doesn’t define who you are as a person. I’m a social worker and I just told a friend yesterday grades, test, what school you are accepted to doesn’t define you and what you are capable of! I love your journey and how you have embraced yourself. Keep learning and growing. Best Wishes

  7. Yes!!! I wore shorts for the first time too this summer. I stopped allowing my self-image dictate my summer and instead of dying in long pants, I wore shorts. It was so freeing. Thank you for sharing!

  8. Beautiful! It’s so crazy how insecurities can nestle so deeply into our skin and settle there and dictate how we feel about so many things—from our reflection to an entire season. I’m so glad that you were able to let go of those feelings and embrace summertime. That makes me so happy for you. It’s what we all deserve. Thank you for sharing, and cheers to your favorite season on the way!

  9. Good job! I’m so proud of you for taking such a big step on your outfit choices and how you felt about yourself this summer!
    You rock!! Hoping this upcoming season continues to bring you growth and peace.

  10. This was such a beautiful post of body acceptance! It’s something I’m still working on, and your post was just so inspiring and lovely. I’m so happy this summer changed you for the better. It’s easy to say all bodies are beautiful, but it’s hard to accept your own, but you did it! And you’re more powerful and confident for it!

    Emily |

  11. I’m so happy that you were able to evolve over the Summer and find confidence and happiness! I wish you all the best for the future ❣️

  12. Congratulations! I have started becoming more comfortable with myself this year also! Love yourself for who you are!

  13. Love this post! What a positive way to round off the season by reflecting on how we have all too changed with the Seasons! Love!

  14. Beautiful post. I love how summer has bought out this growth in you, I’m so happy for you. Nature can do such wonderful things, but so can YOU. This was all YOU. <3 x

  15. This was a lovely post – congratulations on your newfound love for yourself. It was so nice to read, you could just feel your pride in yourself really shining through. I hope more and more people begin to accept themselves like this. I’m glad you could enjoy summer this year!

  16. This was so inspiring!! Summer is one of my least favorite seasons for the same reason. I still feel uncomfortable swimming shirtless, but I’ve still felt a change this summer. It’s my first summer after high school so I guess that’s why. I’ll always keep growing though, and I’m hoping that one day, I will jump in the pool shirtless with a smile on my face!! ? I’m proud of you for how much you’ve grown this summer!!

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