I’m exploring journaling and various journaling prompts. I read this one and felt very inspired to write.

Describe the one thing that if it happens, would make your life 100%. Why would it make it better?

I’m not even sure this is an acceptable response, because I’m not sure it could ever happen. But, I’m the writer, so I get to decide how it works. It would change my life 100% if I came into enough money to pay my Visa off in full.

A bit of a background for you:

I got my first Visa one week after my 18th birthday. This is still the biggest regret of my life. I was nowhere near mature or responsible enough. I seriously thought it was like free money. My mindset around money was simply not one to be paired with a credit card. After a little while, paying my Visa off wasn’t my priority and I began just paying the minimum payment, thinking it was better that way because I was left with money. But , in reality, I wasn’t. Fast-forward 13 years, and I still have the same Visa. Only, after 3 children, and, well, life, the balance is much larger.

Much larger.

My available funds right now are all tied up between paying my Visa and paying regular household bills. I’m not meaning to say “waa, waa, poor me”. But, my level of stress would be so much less without this balance over my head. Things like, buying a house, or funding my business are made increasingly more difficult. I’ve never been in a position to pay it off. Life happens. Growth spurts, vehicle costs, housing costs, all being a single income family with 3 children. And, I’m my largest critic, so yes, I know that I could have made other choices that would have led to other outcomes, but that’s just not what happened. Life happens. I feel like so much of my life has been just getting by.

Counting pennies and borrowing from one account to another. It’s just been how my adult life has been. And, I’m not complaining. I’ve had a wonderful life and I’ve never gone without. Now, I’m 31 and I feel like I’m ready for this adult thing. But, rather than be living it, I’m paying for my financial immaturity. And, tis’ life right? I’ve learned from my mistakes, and I continue to learn, but I feel like I’m far more mature and ready for life.

So, if I somehow came into a large sum of money and I could pay that bill completely, my life would be 100% changed.

My stress level would be significantly better, therefore my mental health would be as well. The chances of this is simply non-existent, so on I go trucking along.

So, what am I doing to pay this debt?

  • Constantly trying to better my blog and strategize new ways of monetization
  • Cutting out non-essential purchases in order to make potentially larger payments
  • Cooking more budget friendly meals
  • Learning about affiliate marketing

How long will it take me?

Probably my entire life. I’m sure the balance will get lower, and it’ll feel more manageable, but I do imagine I will always have a Visa bill now. Three kids, two animals, two vehicles, two small businesses, there are far too many variables that can create unexpected bills. And, yeah, sure, I should have a savings account and all these unexpected bills could be paid with that, but that’s just not the way it is. And now that I’m 31 and already in this situation, I don’t think I’ll ever not be here.

There’s a silver lining.

I’ve been working more towards finding silver linings. This has definitely taught me so much. Here’s a few things I’ve learned:

  • Making minimum payments will never bring down your balance. Even an extra 5-10 dollars will help you. Always try to pay even just a little bit more. Then, at least you’re paying the balance. If you only pay the minimum payment, your balance is not decreasing.
  • I’ve learned how to budget. And, follow a budget right now to ever dollar.
  • I’ve learned how to be happy living with less. I’ve never had any other option, so less feels like more.
  • I’ve expanded my vocabulary so much by learning financial terminology just by understanding bills and statements.

I really think that this is a life long lesson for me now.

I’ll always be learning ways to save/make a few dollars. But, if for some reason I came into a large amount of money, and I was able to pay it off in full, this would dramatically improve my life.

Have you ever thought of this? Is there one single thing that would change your life?

Love Always, Enn

P.S. I explored the cost of medication in one of my blog posts and I’d love if you read it.

The Cost To Be Okay


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